For Bob and Mary this may mean finding babysitters, having occasional dinners alone without children , going on dates, and bringing to their relationship new ways of connecting. Studies report that couples who are passionate about each other can more easily solve problems, including such things as dealing with children, extended family, and financial issues. Sometimes both partners want to be sexual, but one or both is not interested in sex with his or her spouse. Part of what makes a relationship romantic is the excitement that comes with discovering a new person and noticing that that person cares about you. Typically, they only worry about things if they are sexually addicted and their carnal compulsivity is causing problems. This is done through trial and error as well as with honest communication.
The most important thing to remember here is that sex is not the be-all, end-all in relationships. Happily, less sex does not automatically equate to less love, happiness and fulfillment. That's the way it is, that's who we are and there is nothing inherently right or wrong with any of it. If you've always done it in the bedroom, try the kitchen, or a hotel, or a cruise ship, or a cabin in the woods. Some people are heterosexual; others are homosexual or bisexual. But too often, as couples settle into the comforts of love, they cease to fan the flame of desire. When practised regularly, scheduled sex will be something you look forward to, not just something to strike off the calendar. Showing your partner respect, sharing fantasies, and having a regular sexual check-in will help you and your spouse connect on a deeper level. You can also take turns planning what kind of sensual evening you will have so that both partners have a say in how the seduction takes place. It is wise to rule out any potential physical or medical problems before considering relationship-based or psychological issues. This issue often arises in couples counseling. In time, couples like Bob and Mary may settle for security and certainty at the cost of playfulness and passion in marriage. Holding hands, looking into each other's eyes, cuddling, spooning, massage and just taking the time to listen to your loved one's feelings can all serve to build emotional closeness. Couples grow closer together when they try new things, both in and outside of their sex lives. Not having sex doesn't mean these couples aren't deeply in love, monogamously committed and happy together. Love enjoys knowing everything about the other, while desire needs mystery. Some people are into a fetish or kink; others are relatively "vanilla. There should be no judgement during this conversation. He wants to make their lack-luster marriage more satisfying. It is in making each other number one that intimacy can blossom into an ever-deepening love. Take advantage of video chat, dirty talk, and dirty texts. Sex also allows you to de-stress and let go of your inhibitions. And there is always the possibility that one partner may be having an affair. Be confident Easier said than done, right? Create an evening full of seduction to entice both of you into the bedroom. For Mary and Bob, focusing on intimacy may require making the effort to break out of a routine and investing energy into cultivating creativity in their lovemaking.
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