It sounds like you have two different concerns in your question: I know that it can be tough if you have been responding in a certain way for a while, and don't want to stop now for fear of your boyfriend thinking you have been misleading him all along. You didn't mention if other types of sexual activities do feel good to you, so I don't know what else you have explored together. A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body to get more information about what parts of our body can provide us with sexual pleasure. The problem is that he's giving me several excuses every time I want to talk about it. Something that is important when experiencing sensation or pleasure with a partner is ensuring that you are mentally and physically aroused. A Users Guide to get an overview of what your body is going through during sexual activities. I think it is useful to differentiate between emotional pleasure versus physical pleasure. Let's talk about the first part of your question.
Either way, keeping the lines of communication open with your partner will ensure that you and your partner are both satisfied and also respecting each others boundaries. Something that is important when experiencing sensation or pleasure with a partner is ensuring that you are mentally and physically aroused. You didn't mention if other types of sexual activities do feel good to you, so I don't know what else you have explored together. Depending on the type of stimulation that you're receiving during oral sex, one possibility is that you're not experiencing the type of touch that your body responds to. Let's talk about the first part of your question. When my boyfriend preforms oral sex on me and "eats me out" it's like it has no affect on me. I'm itchy and uncomfortable and taking the time to do this for him, and there's no payoff for me. Emotional pleasure, for example, is enjoying the fact that your partner is performing oral sex on you and appreciating being desired. I enjoy giving head! Sometimes it's hard to know how and when to start a conversation about sex with someone, particularly if you aren't sure how your partner will respond. Do you feel sexual desire before engaging in any sexual activities? For your situation, you might find it easier to tell him what you like versus what you don't like. Physical pleasure in this case would be your body's response to this type of stimulation. You mention not wanting your boyfriend to stop when he is eating you out. It can be difficult to recognize or acknowledge when that's the case, particularly if you really enjoy him as a person and get along well. You can use what you learn by yourself to help guide what you do with your boyfriend. There's absolutely nothing wrong with emotionally enjoying your sexual activities, but I want to make sure that your heart is happy and your emotional needs are being met. In the 5 years we've been together, he's done it twice. Sometimes it can feel like being in a relationship means that you should always compromise with a partner, but I firmly believe that you should never do anything that you don't want to do or feel comfortable with, including any sexual activities. Additionally, masturbation doesn't come with the same type of potential pressure that having partnered sex can have. It's not a deal breaker for me, especially since sex is normally very good, it's just bumming me out. If you're not feeling chemistry with your boyfriend, this can really play a role in how much you feel during oral sex, or any other type of sex, with him. If you don't have a health provider that you trust and can speak about your sexuality with, check out Find-a-Doc to explore options near you. I want to repeat what I said above, about feeling sexual attraction towards your partner. And it makes me feel bad. I am wondering if it is emotional pleasure that is making you want your boyfriend to continue having oral sex with you, or if it is you feeling like you should be experiencing physical responses. While feeling sexual arousal and attraction towards your partner can be necessary for pleasure, feeling any type of pressure is definitely not conducive to a positive sexual experience.
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